Feeling that overwhelming sense of complete love for someone is a very powerful experience.
Feeling it twice, is nothing short of a miracle.
When Birdie was born, it was complete chaos and random. She was 6 weeks early, like her sister, except this time we were prepared. lol. Her first moments of life however were the complete opposite of her sister's. Being rushed to the NICU with fluid in her lungs and needing O2, was terrifying. Becoming a NICU mom was something I was in no way prepared for. It changes who you are that's for sure, for the better I believe. I know for certain it made me fall in love with my husband all over again. He was so incredibly calm and relaxed through everything, that it allowed me to be the one to freak out. Those were some tough 9 days being away from my baby, I wouldn't wish the NICU on my worst enemy. Birdie (whose name is Hattie by the way) was born July 10th 2014 at 6:36 pm. Holding her for that 45 seconds, prior to being whisked away, was magical and surreal. Even while in the hospital she was such a good baby, a fighter and a little stubborn. lol.
She was so strong and such a stubborn little girl that she was off the O2 within 6 hours after birth, the IV within 48 hours, and the feeding tube within 72 hours. She latched on beautifully to my breast, and was more than willing to suck. The lactation consultants were a dream, so nice and compassionate, never pushy or degrading like some can be. She ate like a champ along with pooped and peed. lol. When we got to leave to take her home we couldn't believe it. We were a family of 4 and in complete awe of our girls. I believe Birdie could sense Big, and knew from the start that she was her big sister. They're bond is incredible for Birdie only being 2 months old now. She smiles so much for her, coos for her, touches her. Things she doesn't do that much for me mind you. I'm okay with that.
Sleeping comes with being a preemie, and let me tell you, Birdie did A LOT of it. We're talking awake maybe 2 hours total for the entire day. It's alarming at first I won't lie, because technically a preemie is supposed to still be inside the womb sleeping and resting, they have to do that from the outside now. Also, they're very hairy lol. She has hairy ears and a hairy back to match. She's incredibly strong when it comes to her neck, she can hold her head up since about 5 weeks for around a minute. She breast feeds exclusively, minus a few formula supplementing at night time, due to her still being hungry after me. A little piglet would be an understatement. So you're probably wondering why her name isn't Babe or Piggie lol, It's Birdie because in the NICU she barely would suck anything and would eat like a bird. I was rocking her and she was not wanting to suck from the bottle, I said "there there little birdie, just eat" and she did. :) So therefore she is now my Birdie.
With Big, I was very young, 20 years old, I didn't really have opinions on the things I do now, for that I feel pretty guilty. Though I am doing my best not to, I feel its normal to feel that I cheated Big out of experiences when she was a baby that I'm doing with Birdie now. Such as, breast feeding, baby wearing, skin to skin, head wraps (lol) and etc. The future for my girls is oh so bright that some days all I can do is thank god for all that I have been given. These two little girls are my life, my universe if you will. I vow to make their childhood's the best that I possibly can. Come join us? :)
